ClearyCrew

udpate x2 and fundraiser

2012-02-02T09:44:00.001-05:00

It's been so long since I've written anything, I don't even know how to start... O and K are back in Latvia. The rest of our visit (after the first week) was ok. We had some really good, fun times, but we also had a lot of frustration and heart ache. We were genuinely sad to see them go. All of us cried at the airport (even Katja who was quite excited to be going back to her friends). I have no idea, absolutely no idea, what the future holds for us and them. The people who have any influence in the situation know that we want to adopt Oleysia. If that ever gets set into motion I'll let you know. For now, we just go on with life and keep contact with her through facebook and email.

We were finally submitted to the US Embassy in Ethiopia on December 27. After stringing us along for way too long we received an email yesterday that they forwarded our case to the USCIS office in Nairobi, Kenya for further review.

Yesterday was a hard day. I cried many tears, vented a lot of frustration about the embassy to anyone who would listen, took a lot of ibuprofen to stop my raging headache, cried more tears, prayed, read the Word, and cried some more.

I've been reading this scripture from The Message over and over and over again. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 "So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever."

Today I woke up in much better frame of mind. No middle of the night email checks, no early morning anger and frustration., no more headache. Now that we are in Nairobi I know our case will move forward. Tariku WILL COME HOME, not as soon as we had hoped, but he is our son and all this waiting will eventually come to an end.

And now on to the fundraiser--

From now to Februray 12 I am having an online Silpada Jewelry party. I will receive 30% of the total sales of the party AND my Silpada representative (who also happens to be my mother :D ) will match the proceeds-- so really 60% will be donated towards the cost of our airfare to bring Tariku home. If you purchase a $19 pair of earrings, $11.40 will be given to us towards our airfare. Some of the jewelry can be expensive, but it is very good quality, has a life time guarantee (if it breaks they will fix or replace it for free) AND it's for a great cause!

To shop go HERE. Just make sure to click my name as the hostess when you check out.

one week down...

2011-12-18T21:25:00.000-05:00

one very hard, very emotional week down...

We have two girls here. One, while sweet and pleasant, very much wants to be back in Latvia. She likes her life there; misses her friends and boyfriend. The other has a good wall in place, but we know that deep down, this is where she wants to be. These girls are sisters so their different desires obviously present a problem.

I have no idea what our future holds as far as they go. I do know that once the girls go back to Latvia our hosting days are over for awhile. Tariku will be home soon and his attachment is our first priority. We can't have him wondering if one of his siblings is going to be leaving or worse yet, wondering if we're going to put him on a plane back to Ethiopia. I also know that God placed these girls in our life and they will always, always be in our hearts. All the statistics take on a whole new meaning when you have two of them sitting in your living room.

One hard week down. Three heartbreaking weeks to go.

the good, the bad, and the ugly

2011-12-14T12:04:00.002-05:00

Day 4 here.

The first day that I would describe as a good day.

Our biggest lesson thus far has been let go of any and all expectations. Just because we had a great summer doesn't mean we will have a great winter. But our winter might be great... It definitely will be different. We said good-bye to Ruby-O. We said hello to Olesja.

This is work. Are we ready for it? I like to say it's not about me. Do I mean it? I pray that I do. I find myself saying "I don't have the emotional energy for this." I'm a wee bit emotionally fragile as I said good-bye to my son over 6 weeks ago and still have not been submitted to embassy yet. And I may not have the energy, but I have JESUS and He sustains me.

I read a quote by Thomas Edison a few weeks ago. "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." Tom and I keep reminding each other of that. Because someone just showed up in overalls.

She's baaaaaack...

2011-12-11T20:52:00.001-05:00

and this time her older sister is here with her too.

Oleysia and Katja with our whole crew.

They were completely wiped out after over 24 hours of travel. As soon as we arrived home they crashed into bed. I can't wait until tomorrow when we can reacquaint ourselves with Oleysia and begin to get to know Katja. The girls will be staying with us for four weeks. Pray that we can be a blessing to them while they are here and truly show them how much they are loved by Jesus!

one

2011-12-07T19:31:00.002-05:00

Despite my pleas for him to stop growing, Tobias was bound and determined to turn one. Has it really been a whole year since this beautiful boy joined our family? We are blessed beyond measure by this sweet baby. The meaning of his name is oh so fitting-- "God is good."

We love you so much, Tobias!!!

meeting Mr. T...

2011-11-10T08:17:00.001-05:00

I'm not sure how I slept at all that night. I was giddy with excitement about finally meeting this little boy I had known only in pictures for the past 5 months. Every time I would think about "the moment" where he would finally be in my arms, my eyes would well up with tears.

Tariku was in the YWAM Widows and Orphans Home in Adama, about 2 hours away from Addis Ababa where we were staying. Although we were a bundle of nerves, the drive was made bearable by meeting even more new YWAM friends.

We made a little pit stop for some buna (coffee) at a lovely little cafe. You like the view from our table!?

And another stop a little farther down the road for fresh watermelon...

When we got to the Widow and Orphans Home everyone else went in while Tom and I were trying to get Tobias on his back in the ergo. So we were the last people to make it in the door. Right as we were walking in the door, a little boy was being led out and someone was saying "Whose?"

A million thoughts raced through my head in the span of about 10 seconds... "I recognize that face." "But he's so little!" "Is that him?" "Oh my gosh, that's my son!"

I didn't really know what to do. I walked up to him and said something, but I can't even remember what it was. Then I knelt down and held out my arms and asked if I could have a hug. I could tell Tariku was a little dazed, looking around at all these strange faces, but he immediately gave me a big hug. It was surreal. I was actually holding this little boy that I had been praying for, dreaming of, growing to love. I cried many tears of joy during those first moments.

brothers, meeting for the first time

my boy!

We just plopped down right there in the entry way of the building and spent the next several hours getting to know our son. We had been warned by several different people that Tariku was very high energy, or "fast". I went in prepared with bubbles, balls, etc., ready to spend some time running around and playing.

But he never showed us that side of him! He was LOVING having our attention focused solely on him. If one of us would stand up, he would pat the ground as if to tell us "sit back down with me!" He loved the little book we had made him with pictures of the family and things like our van, table, his bed. His favorite page was the one with a picture of Abby holding our cat, Silas. That's funny to me, because I hate our cat!

I had brought puffs for Tobias to eat on the trip. Had I known how popular they would be among the kids I would have brought a whole case. I think I will take a case when we go back to get Tariku. Thankfully, Tobias didn't mind sharing, because Tobias' puffs quickly became Tariku's puffs. And thankfully, Tariku didn't mind sharing because his little friends kept coming up for handfuls at a time.

We ate lunch at the Widow and Orphans Home.

It was getting close to our time to leave and Tariku began to sense that something was going on. He only wanted Tom or I to hold him in our arms. If we put him down and tried to walk while holding his hand, he would immediately reach his hands up to be held again.

So we carried the heavy little boy while we were given a tour of the home. We got to see his bed with our family picture hanging above it.

Now it was time to prepare to leave. It was SO hard. I had to go to the bathroom and as I shut the door I heard Tariku crying and Tom and one of the nannies telling him "Mommy will be right back." My heart was just breaking...

I held him until the last possible second. But the moment came when we really, truly had to leave. As I put him down and through tears told him that I loved him he began to cry and reach out for me. The nannies were trying to hold him back and he fell on the floor crying and reaching for me. As I walked through the door I choked out through my tears, "I love you. I'll be back soon!" It was heart wrenching then and it's just as heart wrenching recounting it now... It is so counter to a mother's instincts to walk away from her crying child.

Now this part is for you, Chris--

The ride home was quite eventful. We ended up stuck in the worst traffic jam that I have ever experienced (and I have sat in quite a bit of DC traffic!) What normally was a two lane road turned into about six lanes with cars pointed every different direction, including cars in the grass and in the dirt off of the road. We would move a few inches and then just sit for a long period of time. There were quite a few horns honking, but we all commented on the fact that no one was really angry. Everyone was content to inch along, even having an occasional car-to-car conversation. The exhaust fumes were overwhelming. Trying to open the windows for fresh air only let in more fumes. Claustrophobia was beginning to set in... It was bad! We never did see what caused it, but our driver was eventually able to get us out of there. Though, by the time we got back to our hotel our clothes wreaked of car exhaust. Even Tobias' hair smelled like it!

We ended the day with another lovely evening spent in the hotel lobby visiting with our dear friends. We were able to commiserate with each other about the difficulty of leaving our little ones behind. We encouraged each other in our willingness (and need) to trust God and His timing in bringing our children home. Now is the time when our faith is tested, and we will not claim to have faith yet live like those who do not-- right, Jen!

The beginning of the trip...

2011-11-09T11:21:00.001-05:00

We left our house bright and early the morning of October 29. We got 4 of our children safely tucked away at my sister's house and then started our drive to Dulles with Tobias (who would be traveling with us to Ethiopia) and our other two children (who would be staying with dear friends).

We met our friends at the airport, got our bags checked in, prayed together and then said our last good-byes. Woo hoo-- we were on our way!

waiting to board

After some scary turbulence during which Tom said his butt actually left his seat at one point, we had a great flight. We weren't able to get a bulkhead seat for Tobias, but we did have 2 aisle seats with an empty seat in between. We couldn't have asked for a better baby on the flight. Tobias was born to travel!

As we finally started to land in Ethiopia I couldn't help but cry. I was so overwhelmed with emotion to finally be in this country that I had grown to love so much, the country that held my son.

We breezed through the airport (we didn't even have to send our bags through the scanners on the way out of the airport. I was a little worried about all the formula we had in our bags making it through, but as Tom started to load our bags they just waved us through. Traveling with a baby has it's perks, perhaps?) and got settled into our hotel room. Over the summer we had become friends with an Ethiopian woman living in Maryland. Her brother was living in Addis Ababa and she had given us his number to contact once we arrived. He and his wife wanted to have us over for lunch. So instead of falling into bed we were whisked off for our first experience with Ethiopian hospitality.

Nini had told them that Tom loved doro wot, so there was doro wot. She told them that I loved gomen, so we had gomen. She told them that we loved coffee, so there was a coffee ceremony. It was all such an honor and privilege to experience it all.

Richel made the basket the popcorn is in-- I was very impressed!

Tobias can sleep anywhere and everywhere. Here he is sleeping on their bed while we drank our coffee.

Time to leave. :( One last picture before we go.

To top off our first day I got to finally meet one of my dear YWAM friends. We were staying in the same hotel and she, her husband and son has just gotten back from spending the day at YWAM's Widow and Orphans Home in Adama. They had just met their son that day and had met Tariku also. We have made many wonderful friends along this journey and it was just the perfect way to end our first day in Ethiopia by meeting one of those friends in person! It is definitely a friendship Tom and I treasure and I can't wait to see them again!

After a busy, full day we finally climbed into bed full of excitement. The next day we were going to meet our son!...

introducing our newest family member...

2011-11-04T15:09:00.000-04:00

We passed court! Meet Tariku, our new son!

Our trip to Ethiopia was better than I could have ever expected. Tobias was a rock star-- not only did he do amazing on both flights and everywhere we visited, but he was a very popular little baby. We couldn't go anywhere without people talking to him, hugging him, kissing his feet. He's not going to know what to do with himself without all that attention... wait, he's going to still have plenty of attention. When we arrived home this morning, his siblings grabbed him before even greeting Tom or I. I heard that no one complained about missing Mom, but there were several complaints about missing Tobias.

I hope to find the time to post pictures of our trip very soon!

2011-08-18T08:52:00.000-04:00

Dear Jesus, please bring my brother home soon from Ethiopia.

photo credit: My Father's Heart photography

court date!

2011-08-11T19:00:00.002-04:00

No time for a big post, but wanted to announce that we received our court date! We are headed to Ethiopia to meet our boy the very end of October. We'll attend court on November 1.

All kinds of excitement around here!

See you later, Oleysia...

2011-08-07T09:10:00.000-04:00

She's gone and our hearts are hurting. I know hers is hurting as well. The airport was not a fun time for any of us, but we did manage to paste on some smiles for one last picture together.

This experience has been truly life changing-- definitely for us, and I pray that the same for her as well. The depth of revelation the Father has given to us has been amazing and humbling. I understand His love in a way that I never grasped before.

Our thoughts are constantly turning to Oleysia in Latvia... what time it is there, what she is doing, etc. The day after she left I had the idea of hanging several clocks to show what time it is here, in Latvia and in Ethiopia where Mr. T is right now. As we were setting the clocks we realized that it is actually the same time in Ethiopia and Latvia! We hung all three clocks anyway to represent the three places our family resides.

We will have the opportunity to host her again this winter. It helps to know that this was only "see you later" not "good-bye". We are counting down the days! This girl has changed us forever. Love her like crazy!!

All we want for Christmas is Oleysia... :D

our girl

2011-08-03T14:55:00.001-04:00

Our beautiful girl, es tevi mīlu...

Latvian for 'I love you"

whole family, so far

camera timer + stool + book + 10 people = as good as it gets!

Please be praying for us tomorrow. We leave our house at 4 a.m. to take Oleysia to the airport. She will be traveling for over 24 hours before she finally arrives home.

It's going to be an extremely emotional time at the airport for all of us, and in the days, weeks, months to come. Oleysia has already tried to come up with ways to stay here forever. She asked Tom how much trouble he would get in if she didn't go back. When he told her that he would go to jail she joked that we could do something so we'd all go to jail together. Really, I'd prefer that we remain together and skip the jail part. :D All in God's time...

more birthday...

2011-08-02T10:57:00.000-04:00

Just wanted to share some more pictures of our special day with Oleysia. She had so much fun, which meant we had so much fun!

June made her a scarf,

and got a big hug.

Happy birthday, Oleysia! We are so glad we got to celebrate this day with you, even if it was a little early!

Ruby O

2011-08-01T22:53:00.003-04:00

One of the biggest things Tom and I have hoped to accomplish through this time of hosting Oleysia is to help her gain a better understanding of how precious she is. Growing up in an orphanage without parents to care for and nurture you isn't exactly good for self esteem.

Oleysia has toyed around with the idea of a more American name since we first met her. In fact, her name is actually Olesja, but she asked us to spell it Oleysia because it is more American to her.

I have always loved the name Ruby so I suggested the name Ruby for her to play around with. I told her that she is our precious jewel, just like a precious ruby. She lit up the first time we told her that. She told us she didn't believe it, but she definitely liked hearing it. So now she's our Ruby Oleysia, or Ruby O for fun.

Oleysia will celebrate her birthday just a few weeks after she goes back to Latvia, but we wanted to celebrate with her here before she goes home. Tom and I were trying to think of something special that we could give her but that would be appropriate to take back to the orphanage (nothing too fancy, flashy, expensive, etc.). I had the idea of a (lab created) ruby ring so that she could remember us and how she is our precious jewel

We celebrated her Cleary birthday today and gave her the ring. I'm pretty sure she liked it.

I pray that every time she looks at it she will remember how much we love her, how valuable she is, our precious Ruby O.

joy that's coming...

2011-07-29T09:22:00.001-04:00

I posted this video back in March '10, shortly after our adoption was put on hold. It was such a sad, pitiful post written through many tears. I ended up deleting the whole thing moments after I posted it. It just hurt...

I heard the song on the radio again a couple of days ago and realized I'm on the other side now... the pain that I was feeling CAN NOT COMPARE to the joy that is here and is STILL COMING-- Tobias, Mr. T., Oleysia...

I am so grateful.

love them

2011-07-28T07:05:00.000-04:00

it's our turn!

2011-07-27T06:39:00.001-04:00

Over the last 21 months we have watched families be matched with children and then get to send a little gift to that child/children. Now it's our turn!

A YWAM family is in Ethiopia right now for their court date. Their daughter was in the same orphanage as our Mr. T. Not only were they going to see our son (and take pictures!!!), but they were going to be in a van with him for over 17 hours. I was able to put together a little package for them to give to Mr. T. I also sent along a little package for his best friend whom he would be leaving behind. :(

Each package contained a shirt, shorts, small car, paper and crayons. Mr. T's shirts said "Mom's Home Run Hitter" and "All-Star Just Like My Dad". His package also contained a laminated photo of us-- his FAMILY!!

In other adoption news-- we were submitted to court over a week ago! We were camping with no Internet, no electricity when I received a text from another YWAM mom... "Got your number?" What?!?! Our dossier had just been sent to Ethiopia the previous week! Thankfully, my sister was camping with us and she has an iPhone. I was able to check my email which contained a message from our case worker saying she had called and left a message with our number for court. (In Ethiopia when cases are submitted to court they each receive a number, much like waiting in line at the MVA. When they get to your number, they will assign you a court date.) I then called our home phone to check our messages, and sure enough there was a message containing our number! I was so overwhelmed with emotion. I had to go hide away in our camper to have a little cry. After waiting so long I still can't believe we are this close. Our case worker is optimistic that we will know our court date before the courts close August 8! That will give us several weeks to prepare for our trip. I keep saying this, but I keep feeling this way... somebody pinch me!

sorry to leave you hanging...

2011-07-26T16:38:00.002-04:00

This morning when I wrote my last post I was emotional thinking about Oleysia going home, running on very little brain power (happens more often than not these days), being climbed on by a baby boy and being begged for breakfast by two little boys. The result was a disjointed post that insinuated things that I didn't mean to insinuate.

But since Naomi came right out and asked... =)

We do feel called to make Oleysia a permanent member of our family. We have no idea how that will play out, how long it will take-- really, when we will even be able to begin. Actually, we don't even know if she'll say yes. In Latvia the children are asked if they want to be adopted or not, and sometimes they say no. Also, being in the middle of bringing our son home from Ethiopia obviously complicates things... a lot. Right now we are taking things one day at a time, which at this moment means loving her as much as we possibly can while we have her under our roof. We trust that God will take care of her and us and bring His will to pass. That's as much as we know right now.

Stay tuned to see how it all plays out...

2011-07-26T09:05:00.000-04:00

When we were planning for Oleysia to arrive I made a goal to blog about our experience every day she was here. I should have known better...

She has been with us 26 days-- we only have 8 days left. August 4 we will rise before the sun, drive to the airport and watch a piece of our hearts get on a plane. It is truly going to be horrific.

Our days have been filled with fun and laughter and hours upon hours of Monopoly, Sorry and Uno with some Yahtzee thrown in there occasionally. We have watched this girl transform before our eyes. The first few days were painful at times as she would sit quietly without engaging. We would try to hard to pull her out of her shell and were successful at times while at other times Tom and I would look at each other and think "what have we gotten ourselves into?"

Now she is a member of our family. We have fallen hard for this girl. Once again Tom and I look at each other and think "what have we gotten ourselves into?"

More later...

our boy...

2011-07-08T10:38:00.001-04:00

Throughout our adoption process we desperately wanted to adopt two children, and we were convinced that was what God wanted us to do. We thought (and sincerely believed God was leading us to) a little girl around 6-8 and a little boy around 3-4. We knew that there was a possibility that we would not be able to adopt two children (our agency does not allow the adoption of unrelated children), so we assumed our girl would become a part of our family first.

Since we received our immigration approval waaaay back in April 2010 right after our adoption was placed on hold, we were eligible for a referral once our home study update was finalized.

In the beginning of June our home study update was finalized-- WOO HOO!! But there were no siblings available for adoption at that time, there were also no girls between the ages of 3-8-- sad. However, there was a little boy in our age range. I remember the first day I saw Mr. T on the waiting children list (right before we were allowed to resume our adoption). I told Tom about him and said "too bad he doesn't have a sister." We began to pray earnestly about what to do next. Did we (after months and months and months of already waiting) wait indefinitely until siblings were brought to a YWAM orphanage? Or was God asking us adopt this little boy? The only thing holding us back from him was not knowing if God wanted us to proceed-- that's a pretty big deal! We began to pray, asking God if He wanted us to wait for siblings, or if Mr. T was meant to be a Cleary.

That weekend at church our pastor's wife came to us during worship (I have to note here that she knew nothing of our new situation). She told us she felt God saying that we felt like we had hit another road block in our adoption-- that it didn't look like we thought it would look, but it was God.

Tom and I looked at each other right away and knew-- Mr. T was our son. I emailed Becky at our agency that night and told her we would like to move forward with Mr. T.

I wish I could tell you more about him. I wish I could show you his absolutely adorable little face and his huge smile. But I can't. Ethiopian government regulations prevent that until he is legally ours, after our court date. We don't know when that will be. Our dossier is on it's way to Ethiopia right now where it will be translated. After that we will be submitted to court, but the courts shutdown for the rainy season the beginning of August. But I'll be shouting from the roof tops whenever we hear about our court date!

I have a son waiting for me in Ethiopia! (and I still believe a daughter is there as well, we're already talking about our next Ethiopian adoption.)

7 months old...

2011-07-08T08:44:00.000-04:00

I wish I could just freeze time for a little while.

(then Tobias would stay little and Oleysia could stay with us)

He's a busy boy-- crawling everywhere, pulling up on whatever he can get his hands on, picking up every. single. little. thing. off of the floor and putting it in his mouth. One of his top teeth finally broke through yesterday. He's only been working on it the past 3 1/2 months since his two bottom teeth broke through.

There is definitely much more laughter and many more smiles in this house because of our precious Tobias!

thankful, part 2

2011-07-05T06:56:00.003-04:00

We have been having a wonderful time with Oleysia. We had moments the first few days where we wondered if she was bored out of her mind, totally hated us, or a mixture of both. It's tough not speaking the same language as a 12 year old living in your home. We are learning more about her and her about us with each passing day, and as a result those awkward moments are fewer and farther between. We LOVE having her here. We are so thankful that we have had this opportunity.

That brings me to why I'm thankful for our last 21 months... If our adoption had not been placed on hold then we would never have had Oleysia here.

Last summer I received an email from a friend. It was about New Horizons for Children and their summer 2010 hosting program. If we had still been in the midst of our adoption, I am positive I would have ignored the email and that would have been the end of it. But since we were on hold I was excited for an opportunity to still care for orphans. Tom agreed to do it, but we missed the deadline for summer 2010 hosting. Bummer. But I did end up on their mailing list.

When they sent out the email about the summer 2011 hosting I initially ignored it. We were going to be starting up our adoption again right before the hosting period so it just seemed like too much. But when I got the second email from them and God began to speak to me about participating this summer. I brought it up to Tom again and he agreed we should do it. So here we are! Thank you, Jesus!!

thankful, part 1

2011-07-04T17:11:00.000-04:00

It feels disingenuous posting this now that our adoption journey has resumed and is going smoothly (for now). But I have had this post rolling around in my head for months now. I even typed it out once, but deleted it before I posted it. It's been hard to accurately describe my feelings in this situation! But I'll give it my best shot...

Back in March, I read one of my posts that I written right after we found out our adoption would have to be placed on hold due to my pregnancy with Tobias. One line in the post said something about "why would God call us to adopt NOW when He knew this was going to happen". Basically, why not wait until June 2011 to ask us to adopt rather than call us in October 2009 and make us walk through the pain that we endured.

As I read it, I realized that I was truly thankful that God, in His infinite wisdom and mercy, called us to adopt when He did. The reasons are so numerous and range from something as simple as my new wardrobe (pretty much all I wear these days are various t-shirts I have bought from fundraising adoptive families!) to the privilege of sponsoring children in Ethiopia through a program that I wouldn't have known existed had I not gone Ethiopian adoption blog crazy back in October 2009! Do you know how humbling it is to get a picture like this?

Then there is the work God has done in my life, in my heart. I don't have the time or even the words to type it all out, but trust me, God is so faithful and so true to His word.

And there are the relationships I've made through this blog, relationships that all share the common bond of adoption. I truly treasure these relationships, and since I have had the privilege of starting this journey twice, I also have made twice as many friends. I made relationships with women who were at the same point in their adoptions as we were before, AND I'm making relationships with women whom share the same timeline now. How blessed is that?

One of those friends even just connected me up with a local friend of hers who is going to be meeting our son in 2 weeks!! (I promise I will post more about our son very soon.) I get goosebumps whenever I think of this divine connection. I am so very excited to hear more about my boy from this new friend. And it is so comforting to my mother's heart to know that 'T' will be in very good hands on the difficult trip he has ahead (literally and figuratively).

And just today I realized one of the hugest blessings that has been brought forth from our situation, but now it's time to make dinner for the eight kids in my house this month. So...

to be continued...

My heart is full

2011-07-02T07:48:00.000-04:00

It's only day 3, but things are going very well with Oleysia. She is such a sweet girl-- so kind and respectful. She's still nervous and hasn't settled completely in quite yet, but we are making great strides. I can't tell you how badly I wish I spoke Latvian! I have a list of words that I try to say for her and I mispronounce them every single time. She gets a kick out of my attempts. Google translate is definitely our friend! We learned that spaghetti is her favorite food (the burgers we had last night were not very well received) and that when we go to Assateague this summer it will be first time to see the ocean. How cool is that? I can't wait to see her reaction.

The kids all love her. Oliver is in love. He was so excited for her to come and just as excited now that she is here. She is in love with Tobias. Babies speak one language-- love. Yesterday, we went to the lake. I wanted to take a picture of her and June. I was holding Tobias so I handed him to June to hold for the picture, but Oleysia quickly reached out her hands to take him.

I'm so thankful that God led us to do this, and that we said yes to His call. We are definitely being blessed by this experience. I just pray that we may bless her as much as she blesses us.

Oleysia and "The 'A' Word"

2011-06-30T22:10:00.000-04:00

This post is for those of you reading who will be seeing us at some point in the next five weeks. It is so important that we not mention adoption AT ALL while around Oleysia. I know this is made more difficult by the fact that we are right in the middle of an adoption, but we can't talk about that at all either. DO NOT MENTION ADOPTION in any way, shape or form. I'm copying below the section of our hosting training manual where it discusses this issue.

THE “A” WORD… ADOPTION

You may NOT talk to the children about any aspect of adoption; do NOT mention the possibility, the concept, the thought process or any form of the “A” word in their presence. This cannot be emphasized enough. No matter what you think or feel, do NOT do it. It is NOT helpful to them. It is detrimental to our program. The only thing worse than a child living in an orphanage, is having hopes raised that their life is going to change, they will be adopted, and then they are not. More often than not, children who are told they are being adopted, or being led to believe this, are the same ones WHO ARE NOT EVER ADOPTED.

Be careful (better yet, don’t do it) when on telephone calls, cell calls or when sending emails to others. You may THINK the kids do not understand any English but they may have actually picked up on various parts of your conversations. Be super proactive in letting others know this rule before you run into a problem. In the past, slip ups have occurred in the following ways and really caused heartache:

 In the concept of discussing a pet’s “adoption”…a child heard the word, and didn’t realize it was in relation to a pet, but thought it was him! It wasn’t.

 When attending a church service, the pastor was so excited to welcome the hosted children present, he asked for church members to pray that each child would get adopted.

 When a mom was driving down the road, with music playing, she thought her hosted child couldn’t understand, so she called someone and discussed adoption of the child. The child heard and soon spread the “news” to others at group events that they were all being adopted!
 In discussing the joy of personally being an “adopted” child, a parent was trying to share a personal experience, but the child misunderstood and thought it was about him/her.
We cannot predict the future and you cannot predict the future. It hurts a child more to hear they will be adopted and not be, than not hearing anything one way or the other. We are speaking from experience on this one; please trust us! The time will come later to tell and it’s not while they are here or anytime shortly after they return to their homes. This is a vacation for them. They may hope and dream, but they do not EXPECT to be adopted from this. They really do EXPECT to return home. America is NOT presently their home!

We would LOVE to talk more about the hosting program, possible adoption of Oleysia and, of course, our Ethiopian adoption, but NOT in front Oleysia or anywhere within earshot of her. Thank you so much for understanding! Oh, and by the way, Oleysia is familiar with the term "The 'A" Word" so we can't even talk about it using that terminology either.

She's here!

2011-06-30T21:45:00.000-04:00

It's only been a few hours, but things are good so far. She's pretty quiet- I'm sure completely overwhelmed! She loves Abby's room where she's staying. Her bio said that she would love a room that was all pink, nothing but pink, with animals on the walls. Abby's room is definitely pink and we put stuffed animals all over Oleysia's bed and little animal figurines on the window sill right next to the bed. I wish I could have gotten a picture of her smile when she walked in. :-)

Happy Birthday, Karis!

2011-06-30T07:59:00.000-04:00

Today my little firecracker turns 7! This girl is such a gift, and she certainly keeps us on our toes. She was up at 6 a.m. (she normally sleeps until at least 8) because she was so excited... but not because of her birthday, because we're picking up Olesja today!

I love this little girl! Thank you, Lord, for letting me be her mom.

Happy Birthday, Karis!

tomorrow

2011-06-29T22:34:00.002-04:00

Run to the bank to get our OFFICAL REFERRAL paperwork notarized!
Take OFFICIAL REFERRAL paperwork to Fed Ex.
Take birthday girl, Karis, and all her sibs to Red Lobster for lunch
Take all the kids to Cars 2 (they've been working hard to earn money for the tickets)
Immediately race to Dulles airport to pick up OLESJA!
Come home and crash into bed as a family of 10 for the next 5 weeks.

Yes, we got our referral and it's a boy! We had hoped to adopt two children, but our agency did not have any siblings and recently changed their policy on adopting unrelated children. Instead, God led us to a precious little boy and we couldn't be more thrilled. So now we'll just have to plan another Ethiopian adoption at some point. :-)

And Olesja gets here tomorrow! It's hard to believe that tomorrow night at this time we'll have another child with us. We appreciate your prayers over the next 5 weeks that we have Olesja. Pray that we can show her the love of Christ. Pray that she may find a family through this experience!! Pray that we can communicate with each other-- that may be my biggest fear in all of this!

it's out of my hands

2011-06-27T13:04:00.001-04:00

Our dossier, that is. I just dropped it off at Fed Ex this afternoon. Wow, that was stressful. I felt like I was going to hyperventilate the whole drive there. I pray everything is in order and it passes through DC without any issues!

I have more to update on the adoption, but no time right now! I'm off to take care of my Mommom again this evening. I absolutely love talking to her Ethiopian nurse aid, Nini. She told me she wants to have us over so she can cook for us. She also offered to connect me with her sister in Addis so we'll have someone to show us around when we're there-- the best markets to shop at, etc.

Hopefully, I'll be able to post more soon, but Olesja (Oleysia? we've been told two different spellings) arrives on Thursday, which also happens to be Karis' 7th birthday. It's a busy, busy week!

Mommom...

2011-06-16T21:18:00.000-04:00

My great grandmother turned 99 on May 21... 99! Unfortunately, the same day she ended up in the hospital with a heart attack and several other ailments. She's been at home with around the clock care since being released from the hospital.

Yesterday, I had the privelege of caring for her for a few hours between aides. A neat thing about her aides-- the one I took over for is from Ethiopia and the one that took over me is from Tanzania. Loved talking to them!

Mommom is pretty confused right now and I'm not sure that she recognized me as family. Tobias was also with me and although she may not know he is her great-great grandson, she still loves babies! I put Tobias in her lap and he immediately rolled over and starting giving her the hugest smiles. Babies are excellent therapy!

home study update is finalized!

2011-06-07T15:54:00.001-04:00

Woo hoo! Perfect timing with Tobias turning 6 months old today. Now to complete our dossier (again, sigh, love all of these "agains").

happy 6 month birthday my sweet, little baby

2011-06-07T08:08:00.000-04:00

*so* grateful for this little boy

photo credit-- June Bug

fingerprinting tomorrow!

2011-06-02T21:36:00.001-04:00

...except that it's not really that exciting because we've already been fingerprinted and we already have our I-171H. Buuuuut, our fingerprints expire June 9, so we're getting them redone tomorrow. Just how do fingerprints expire anyway? hmmm.

What IS exciting is that Tobias will be 6 months old on Tuesday, and you know what that means!! Right now our home study update is almost completed. We're just waiting on our CPS clearances (come on DCS!!!) and then it is DONE. After that we need to compile our dossier and then.... the real wait begins.

look who came to visit...

2011-05-31T19:01:00.000-04:00

...found in June's second story bedroom. I think we're all still recovering from the ordeal! (Don't look if you have a snake phobia!)

it's teacher appreciation week

2011-05-03T20:32:00.001-04:00

or so I've been told. I informed my children of that this morning. I told them they better appreciate me this week! It was the topic of much joking the rest of the day.

But then tonight, June handed me a coupon book she made for me today. Some of the coupons include...

doing laundry all day, uses: 7
clothes hung on line, uses: 2
scrub cabinets, uses: 3
bake whatever, uses: 5
pedicure and foot massage, uses: 2
scrub mudroom baseboards, uses: 2
sweep bedroom, uses: 3

and there are even MORE! I love my girl, and I definitely feel appreciated. <3

new book I'm excited to read!

2011-05-03T07:18:00.000-04:00

I know many people say they would love to adopt, but the money issue holds them back. And even for families who are adopting-- the money issue is a big one! That's why I'm so excited to read this book!--

“Adopt Without Debt: Creative Ways to Cover Cost of Adoption” http://adoptwithoutdebt.com/

14 months down, 1 more to go!

2011-05-01T07:41:00.001-04:00

Just in case anyone is counting... we're down to ONE MONTH before we get this adoption going again! woot woot!

Cupcakes!

2011-04-29T20:03:00.002-04:00

It all started when a friend posted this link on my facebook page because he knew I had a burden for Africa. That led me to this page on facebook, which then led me to this page for the Cupcake Kids. The Cupcake Kids were getting ready for their first annual cupcake sale and talking it up on facebook. One day in early April they posted a list of states where they still needed sales to take place in order to have a sale in every state on the day of the national sale. One of those states was Maryland, and well, I just happen to live in Maryland. I asked if any friends wanted to join me in hosting a sale, and with that our cupcake sale was born.

The weather was not looking good for the day of the sale, but we moms and kids prayed and prayed and prayed as we baked and baked and decorated and decorated! The kids set a goal of raising $300 which I thought was pretty optimistic given the weather predictions.

April 16 dawned cold and dreary... and wet! In faith we said that God didn't answer our prayers of no rain because He was going to bring even greater glory to His name by making our cupcake sale awesome despite the rain. And He did! Five families (20 kids!) sold dozens of cupcakes and made--- $640! Do you see that is more than double what the kids were hoping to make? Thank you, Jesus!

We had an incredible time and are excited to participate again next year. Take a look at the Cupcake Kids website. See that number over there on the left? Amazing what some kids can do with cupcakes and some help from the Lord!

Here is Karis trying to draw in some customers... in the rain.

Take a look at some of the cupcakes we had... These are just some of the 13 dozen that my kids and I made. We had soooo many other beautiful, creative and delicious cupcakes there as well.

had to share

2011-04-27T07:09:00.000-04:00

this sweet picture my oldest baby took of my newest baby...

Meet Oleysia...

2011-04-22T09:34:00.001-04:00

Oleysia is a 12 year old girl who lives in an orphanage in Latvia. We will be hosting her for 4-5 weeks this summer through New Horizons for Children. We are so excited for this opportunity! We have the chance to show the love of Jesus and the love of a family to a child who normally does not experience this. Though, the thought of putting her on a plane to head back to the orphanage at the end of this summer is heartbreaking. :( Will you be praying for her? Oleysia IS available for adoption and desperately needs the love of a PERMANENT family. And pray for us-- that we may be a blessing to this precious girl and show her the love she needs and deserves.

If you feel led to help us in this endeavor you can make a tax deductible donation directly to New Horizons. All funds donated via this link will be credited towards the $2500 that we need to bring Oleysia here.

www.active.com/donate/summer2011/Oleysia

Compassion...

2011-04-14T04:19:00.003-04:00

Last month I received an email from Compassion International asking for volunteers to run the Compassion table at an upcoming Newsboys concert. I was surprised to see that the concert was 15 minutes from us. I totally live in the boonies. So I quickly emailed them to ask if June and Tobias could come with me. When they responded with "no problem", I signed right up!

The concert was this past Saturday night and June and I had a great time (I suppose that Tobias did too-- he just hung out in the sling all night). It was a great opportunity for us both, and I'd love to do it again sometime. We did get free admission to the concert, but I must be getting old because it was too loud for me. I just hung out at the table the whole night.

The best part of the night? 79 more children now have sponsors! Thank you, God!

June snapped a picture of us behind the table. This was during Tobias' ten minute nap. We arrived at 6 pm, left after 11pm and he was awake virtually the entire time-- happy as could be!

my little treasure

2011-04-13T16:15:00.000-04:00

is already 4 1/2 months old! Ignore the massive amounts of drool-- he cut his first teeth at 3 1/2 months!

to infinity and beyond!

2011-04-03T22:12:00.000-04:00

Today we had a fun time celebrating Oliver and Jonah. Oliver turned 3 a couple of weeks ago and Jonah turns 5 tomorrow. Both happen to be pretty smitten with Buzz Lightyear-- along with every other 3-5 year old boy in America, right? So today Buzz, Woody and the gang joined us in wishing them both a happy birthday.

I'm pretty ~~cheap~~ frugal so we used a lot of things we already had around the house to decorate.

We ate at Pizza Planet. Sign courtesy of Thomas.

Alien cupcakes for Thomas and pig-- "Hamm" cupcakes for Oliver. June made the cupcakes-- my absolute, most favorite chocolate cake EVER. Seriously, they are that good. I love having older girls to help out, but it has it's down side too. I only got to decorate one alien cupcake-- June did the rest. And I only got to decorate one pig cupcake-- Abby did the rest! Good thing we're having a cupcake sale in two weeks. I'm sure to get to decorate at least a few more cupcakes.

The kids (really just my kids and their cousin, Audrey-- we have enough on our own to make a whole party :D ) made Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head goody bags.

Presents!

We had such a fun time. How great are little boys?!

funny things they say

2011-03-31T09:40:00.001-04:00

Today, I'm taking Jonah and Oliver to the party store to pick out some decorations for their birthday party this weekend. I also told them I would buy them each a burger at McDonalds-- big deal for them, lol!

This morning, I overheard Jonah telling Karis this account of our day's plans.

"Oliver said we're going to the store to buy decorations for burgers, but we're really going to buy Christmas lights to put on our house for our party."

Maybe once we get to the party store they'll BOTH understand what it is that we're doing?

my horse crazy girl

2011-03-29T18:31:00.000-04:00

Yes, I have a girl that is quite smitten with horses. I don't understand it much myself because I've never been one for horses, but this girl is cuh-razy about horses. Yesterday, she finally started riding lessons. She's only been begging for lessons for a couple of years now. I think if you asked her, yesterday may be the best day of her life so far. :D

My giddy girl--

leading Anni to be groomed

riding Anni

Happy Birthday, Oliver

2011-03-21T16:11:00.000-04:00

Okay, I'm playing catch up here a little bit.

The day after my sister had her baby, Oliver turned 3! I can't believe he's not my little baby anymore.

From this (he looked like such an old soul)

to this (so excited for presents!)

If you asked him what he wanted for his birthday, he would say "a toy Bias and three buckeyes!" So we gave him both.

He wanted to make cut out cookies-- "mafaca" (Africa) cookies to be exact. Once we started making them he decided the train cookie cutter was his favorite so Jonah quickly claimed the Africa cookie cutter.

Karis, Oliver and Jonah showing their favorite cookie cutters

And we ended the day with ice cream sundaes for dessert.

That big pile in the background is not clean laundry. We never have piles of clean laundry around here, never. :D

Oliver, we are so thankful for you. You keep us all laughing and bring so much joy to our lives. I am so blessed to be your mommy. Love you!!!

new nephew!

2011-03-21T15:36:00.001-04:00

Last Tuesday, March 15, my new little nephew was born, and I got to be there! The last baby I saw born was my sister, Mary, 23 years ago. To be there when her baby was born was very special. This was her second baby, but I couldn't be there when her first was born, as Oliver was only 8 days old.

She had a wonderful water birth in a freestanding birth center. I'm so proud of her. She was amazing. And the experience still has me giddy.

my new nephew

delighted big sister

Tobias seems HUGE now

one year ago...

2011-03-09T05:26:00.007-05:00

One year ago today... it's a day forever etched in my memory. I remember it so clearly, down to what clothes I was wearing and even the exact words of my facebook status-- "The sun in shining. It's WARM outside, and we're getting fingerprinted for immigration! It's a GOOD, GOOD day."

Little did I know that the day would not end good-- by my definition. Instead, I ended the day a sobbing mess hiding under the covers in my bed.

It's the day that we found out that our wonderful, precious, amazing, little Tobias was on the way. And it's also the day that we were dealt the devastating news that our adoption would be put on hold until the new baby was born and turned 6 months old.

It's been a long wait (but we're down to under 3 months to go!), but God's gift of a baby has such healing power. I am so thankful for this treasure that the Lord has given us in Tobias. He is a tremendous blessing and brings so much joy to our lives. Even days before Tobias was born I was still having moments of breakdown and tears of sadness over our adoption. After he was born I was too busy loving my baby, and there wasn't much room for sadness.

Until this week...

Disturbing news has come that Ethiopia is planning on cutting 90% of adoptions. Those familiar feelings of sadness and confusion come rushing back. The thoughts of "We've given it our best shot." "This is too hard." or "I just can't do this anymore." run through my head once more. But then God speaks-- That's exactly what Satan wants. Satan wants children to grow up in orphanages rather than in loving families.

So we press on. When God called us to this journey He never promised that it would be easy. In fact, He said the opposite, that we WILL have trials. John 16:33 "I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world."

Please join us in prayer for this situation in Ethiopia. The goal is to reduce corruption and unethical adoptions-- something we all want! The problem is that with such a drastic cut in adoptions many children who are in true need of homes will not be able to find them and may spend many more years in orphanages. Our agency has a great post about praying for this situation here-- HOW YOU CAN PRAY.

And PLEASE sign this petition: http://www.gopetition.com/petition/43714.html to urge the government of Ethiopia to allow ethical adoptions to continue unhindered.

2011-02-02T19:43:00.000-05:00

one of those moments when homeschooling is blissful... big sister helping little sister with reading.

wordless wednesday

2011-01-26T06:51:00.001-05:00

13 years...

2011-01-17T05:32:00.004-05:00

spent with my wonderful husband.

Then

Now

Tobias and his second dad

2011-01-16T12:39:00.001-05:00

The other day when I posted the picture of Karis and Tobias, I posted the same picture on facebook with the caption "Tobias and his second mom". Karis was thrilled to death and from that moment on has gone around talking about herself in the third person as Tobias' second mom. Jonah immediately said "can you take a picture of Tobias and his second dad?" So here you go, Tobias and his second dad--

I don't know what it is about Jonah, but Tobias absolutely adores his older brother. Every time Jonah comes near him, he lights up and gives Jonah the hugest smiles. It is so precious to watch. Jonah can't get enough of Tobias now-- well, he better get used to it, because I predict that soon enough he's going to have a little shadow that can't get enough of him.

"formula is life"...

2011-01-15T14:14:00.009-05:00

There is a desperate need for formula in Ethiopia. I was first made aware of this need when I read this post on our agency's blog: Formula is Life. I was heartbroken when I read that babies are fed powdered milk when the orphanages run out of formula.

Tobias is exclusively breastfed so I have no need for formula here, but pregnant moms and moms of new babies are normally inundated with formula samples and coupons whether they use formula or not. I have taken advantage of that to be able to start affordably collecting formula either to send off with other families traveling soon or to tuck away to take on our trips to Ethiopia. Several companies have sent me samples and checks. And did you know that you can use coupons along with the checks from the formula companies? Thursday I went grocery shopping and was able to get three 12 ounce cans of formula ($39 worth) for less than $4.50 total thanks to coupons and formula checks! I had two checks from Enf*mil for $5 each. I also had a store coupon for $13.85 off of two cans of Enf*mil. By using the coupon and checks together, each can of formula cost me less than $1.75. If I had a larger check (like my check for $10.50 off a can of Good Start making my cost 99 cents for a 12 ounce can!) I could have gotten the formula for less, or even free. I love getting good deals and at prices like that it is easy to absorb the cost into the regular grocery budget. (P.S. I'm still pretty excited about the deal and I've already told Tom about it too many times for him to be interested anymore. :-) I had to share here!)

Do you have any formula coupons or checks that you won't be using for your own baby? Consider using them to purchase formula to donate to Ethiopia-- or send me an email to get my mailing address. Send the checks and/or coupons on to me, and I'll buy the formula!

A fellow YWAM family had a post recently with some more great tips on acquiring formula and other donations. You can read it here: Creative Collecting.

and ANOTHER Junk Posse giveaway!

2011-01-14T07:31:00.000-05:00

This time for a shirt. I just love the colors of these shirts.

Go to Junk Posse's blog to sign up for the giveaway-- JUNK POSSE BLOG and for details on how to purchase a shirt to help a family bring home their child from Ethiopia.

My little helper...

2011-01-11T19:04:00.000-05:00

I've noticed over the years as we've added babies to the family that six is a wonderful age for an older sibling. It seems the six year olds are most into caring for the new baby. They play with them more, look out for them, protect them... Maybe it's just my family, but I love seeing my six year olds interact with my new babies (we're on baby #4 that has had a six year old older sibling).

Karis is the six year old this time around. Karis has a very strong personality, very strong. Strong enough to make her mommy crazy at times. She truly is the most stubborn child I have ever met, but I digress. Karis has the tendency to "mother" her siblings. This comes off as bossiness and is not very well received by the others! However, having a new baby brother has been so wonderful for her. She now has someone to focus her mothering on and that bossiness now comes out as nurturing. She has mellowed considerably over the past several weeks (yay!!).

She has been such a help to me. She loves to change diapers, even poopy ones (my 12 year old doesn't do diapers!). She actually asked me to teach her how to do it. She can't stand to hear Tobias cry, even for a second, so she'll scoop him up and talk about how good she is at calming him. Last night, Tom was holding Tobias and Karis said to him, "If you need me, I'll be right over here playing with toys." You know, just in case she was needed to calm Tobias. :-) Then this morning I was nursing Tobias before getting out of bed, and she came in to tell me to come get her if I needed her to hold Tobias while I took a shower. She's also a huge contributor to dinner making around here now. If I'm in the middle of cooking and can't take a second (or 1/2 hour!) to nurse Tobias, she'll quickly volunteer to take him for me until I can tend to him.

I love my little helper and I'm really loving seeing the change in her attitude and behavior as she pours her nurturing into her little brother. We still have quite a way to go, but hey, she's only six.

Junk Posse Giveaway!

2011-01-08T10:51:00.001-05:00

Here's another chance to win a wonderful piece of Junk Posse jewelry.

The ever-generous Tracy is giving away this lovely necklace or bracelet--

I was going to gush on some more about how much I love Junk Posse, but I have a fussy baby in my arms, so check it out for yourself to see how wonderful it is!!

JUNK POSSE GIVEAWAY

confessions of a slacker mom

2011-01-07T16:09:00.000-05:00

Tobias was 2 1/2 weeks old before I finally took a picture of all seven of my children together. It's sometimes not very fun to try to take a picture of this crew-- case in point...

I love the look on Tobias' face as Karis cries behind him.

I did get a good picture of them all on Christmas morning. Who isn't happy on Christmas, right?

Speaking of Christmas-- today is Christmas in Ethiopia. Melkam Genna!!

It's Christmas Eve, Eve, EVE!

2010-12-22T09:19:00.000-05:00

That's what I was informed of this morning as I lay groggy in bed. I think my kids are just a bit excited. I'm so happy and proud of them though because they truly are more excited about giving then receiving this year. Thank you, Jesus, for working in their hearts. The older three even sat together pouring over the World Vision catalog and decided to pool their money together to buy some chickens and mosquito nets. Abby told me that she was only saving her money for a DS and she doesn't need one so she gave her money to World Vision instead. I'm seriously teary thinking about it, and so incredibly grateful to God for stirring their hearts towards compassion.

Every room of my house seems to be strewn with the making of Christmas gifts. It's Cleary workshop around here! Now if only I could get them as excited about cleaning up their messes as they are about making their gifts... yeah, doubtful, I know.

Thomas finished up the last of his gifts yesterday, has them all wrapped and ready to go. He is very type A so this is a big deal to him-- a very, very big deal. I can not tell you how many times I have heard him tell me that all his gifts are finished. Hopefully, I'll get a few pictures of him giving his gifts to their recipients. He's not a fan of the camera and dodges it every chance he gets so we have to be sneaky.

June has taken over the job of making iced sugar cookies. It was never one of my favorite traditions given the amount of mess it creates! I used to make the dough, but then pass off the rest of the process for Tom to oversee. Now June does it from start to finish (with the "help" of the little ones)-- and she enjoys it so we both win! I am so enjoying my children as they grow.

Even though we have the gifts taken care of for this year, I'm always looking for gift ideas for kids to make-- especially non-food gifts for the guys in the family. What are your favorites? I'll be back after Christmas to share what my kids have made. Have to keep it secret for now!

Merry Christmas Eve, Eve, Eve!!!

2010-12-15T13:40:00.000-05:00

Why is it that the weeks of pregnancy draaaaaag by, but once the baby is here time goes at warp speed? I want my baby to slow down!

8 days old modeling more mama made goodies

pictures and a birth story

2010-12-12T13:24:00.000-05:00

Sweet, little Tobias is 5 days old already. He has completely captured our hearts. It's a good thing that a baby can't be loved too much, because this little boy has 6 siblings all competing for their turn to hold him and love on him. Jonah told me that he loves Tobias "even much more" than he loves me, lol.

I tried to write out my birth story below. I really can't do justice to the amazing experience that we had. There is nothing like gently welcoming a new family member in the comfort of your own home.

On December 6 I started having sporadic contractions that were a little different than the ones I'd been having for the past several weeks (I had so much prodromal labor!). I had a feeling that something was finally happening, but figured it would still be awhile before anything really kicked in. That evening the contractions were still at least 1/2 hour apart so we watched a movie together as a family and then sent the kids off to bed.

At 8:30 I decided to try to get some sleep in case things picked up during the night. I laid down for 1/2 hour, but in that time period I had two contractions that forced me to get up and move around. The next few hours were spent in and out of the birth tub with painful but manageable contractions ranging anywhere from 6-15 minutes apart, but tending more towards 15 minutes apart.

Around midnight (in the birth pool at this point) I started feeling pushy, but I wanted to wait until I had an overwhelming urge. (After pushing for 3 hours with a posterior Oliver, I was NOT anxious to do that again!) When I did start to push I immediately felt the baby come down. With the next push I could feel his head right there. I told Tom to go get the kids, so he ran out to the living room to yell up for them to come see the baby being born. He was out of the room maybe a minute, but by the time he ran back in I was holding Tobias. He was born at 12:29 a.m. and was immediately greeted by his adoring siblings.

Despite being born 3 weeks past his due date, he was a little peanut-- 8 lbs and 20 3/4 inches-- my second littlest baby.

Here he is within 1/2 hour of the birth being held by his beaming Daddy.

Around 1 1/2 hours old

Oliver with his baby brother

1 day old being held by his adoring big brother Jonah (wearing hat, sweater and socks lovingly knitted by his mama)

look how chubby he's getting already! He gained 9 ounces in 4 days!

And here he is today-- newborn baby bliss!

He's here!

2010-12-07T08:13:00.000-05:00

Tobias (means "God is good") Mueller Cleary born at 12:29 a.m. on 12/7/2010-- three weeks past his due date but oh, so worth it!

More details and pics to come later...

baby #7 update (or lack thereof)

2010-11-17T18:40:00.001-05:00

40 weeks, 1 day and counting... baby is happy and snug safe inside of me still. If he is born within the next 6 days he'll be my earliest baby yet, so I'm not waiting on pins and needles or anything.

I feel great, so I can't complain. Baby is doing well and wriggling around like crazy. We're trying to convince him that it really is better out here than in there, but he's not buying it. I figure that with as long as my babies like to hang out, I must have a really nice uterus, so maybe it is nicer in there, lol.

So it's November...

2010-11-01T16:45:00.002-04:00

which means I didn't get my October baby. I did, however, get a house full of germs. Five out of six kiddos came down with a really nasty cold/flu. We've been battling the germs for well over a week now-- definitely not an environment in which you want to welcome a brand new baby!

We seem to be heading out of the woods now, and the good news is that I'm feeling better than I have the entire pregnancy! Thank you, Jesus! 38 weeks tomorrow...

the theology of a two year old

2010-10-27T06:48:00.001-04:00

Oliver is a bit confused about this whole baby thing. Right before I got pregnant we started talking to him about having Jesus in his heart. If you asked him where Jesus was he would say, "In me!" Then I got pregnant and we started talking about the baby in Mommy's tummy. That was way to much for his young mind to understand. Jesus has now migrated to his tummy (where He has been known to eat Oliver's gum).

A couple of weeks ago we passed a pond as we were driving. Oliver wanted to know where the water came from. Tom told him that God put it there. Oliver replied, "God came out of my tummy and made the water?" I love his theology. :-)

Two nights ago I was getting some strange pains "down low" (the only way I can think to describe it is the baby felt like he was clawing his way out, fun!). I could barely walk when I would get one so I hobbled to my bedroom. The children, seeing me walking funny, assumed that my feet were what was hurting me. I tried to explain that is was because I had a baby in me that I was hurting. Oliver followed right behind me saying, "My feet are hurting. Jesus is hurting my feet." This little boy never fails to make me smile.

a gift that gives twice

2010-10-26T11:51:00.001-04:00

My favorite type of gift to give is one that has meaning. I try to stick to handmade or at least ethically made, but most of all I love to give gifts that give TWICE. For example, my three girls all had birthdays this summer. We gave them each one of these bracelets from Orphaned NO More. So my girls now have a beautiful piece of jewelry and a family is one (or three) steps closer to bringing home their precious child.

Stacy over at My Cup Overfloweth has a whole post filled with links to gift ideas such as this. I'm definitely going to be looking through the list for those left on my gift list. I'm also using this opportunity to brag on my daughter June and showcase her etsy shop.

June is so creative, compassionate and generous. She loves to knit, dabbles in sewing, but her favorite creative outlet is jewelry making. She has had her own etsy shop for a little over a year now and donates 50% to 100% of the profits towards our adoption. Her original goal was to raise $100 which she has far surpassed and is now aiming for $200. She does all the beading, picture taking, etsy listing and shipping (I may help a bit with the shipping part) herself. I am so proud of her (as if you can't tell by now)!

Check out her shop here:

JuneBug Creations

Here is a picture of the most recent earrings she has made. I think they're just beautiful.

Also, just a quick note that we are still raising money for adoption through Just Love Coffee. We receive $5 for every bag of coffee that is sold. It is GOOD coffee too!

So get shopping and give gifts that give twice this year!

loooong overdue update

2010-10-26T09:40:00.001-04:00

I can't believe that it's been almost 3 months since I last posted. I've written so many blog posts in my head, but never managed to get them written down. This post is already proving difficult as I have two boys (well, technically three) in my lap and my computer or blogger is having a serious typing time delay. Pressing on...

I'm 37 weeks pregnant today!

All of my babies have come between 41 and 44 (yes, 44) weeks so I could have a good bit more time with this baby in utero. I've been praying all along that the baby would be born this week though. We'll see soon enough how God responds. :-)

In any event, I'm definitely ready should baby decide to make his appearance soon! I always make the baby's first outfit (I started this tradition with Karis) and I have this baby's all ready and laid out on the changing table, waiting to be worn by a precious little wee one. (We're having our 6th home birth which is why the outfit isn't packed in the hospital bag.)

I have knitted quite a bit for baby #7. Here it is all together. These are a few of the many things I had planned to blog about, but for now I'll wait to show them individually until I have a model.

Except these-- my favorites! So tiny and adorable!

In my nesting I also made a new diaper bag. I had purchased a burlap coffee bag from Just Love Coffee about a month before I found out I was pregnant. I knew what I wanted to make with it (copy a fabulous bag I found on etsy), but didn't find the motivation until nesting hit. And can I just say, I am so thankful for that nesting urge or I would have gotten nothing done for this baby! Here's the new bag which I am totally in love with (my poor photography skills don't do it justice).

Ok, that's it for now. I have two girls needing help with schoolwork and a sick boy wanting to cuddle with his mommy without a computer in her lap. Hope to be back a lot sooner than 3 months this time...

baby #7...

2010-07-29T20:55:00.004-04:00

I mentioned in a comment on a previous post that we had found out the sex of the baby and that I would post about it. I wanted to do some kind of creative, interesting blog post, but I just don't have it in me.

For those surprised at our decision to find out since we've never done an ultrasound before, I'll quickly explain it to you as best as I can. It's no secret that this pregnancy was very unexpected and the resulting halt to our adoption was heartbreaking. Because of these circumstances, I was having a very difficult time being excited. My heartache over losing two children was overshadowing the joy of receiving this blessing in my belly! I felt terrible because I knew that as soon as this baby was born I'd be head over heals in love and thanking Jesus for knowing better than me and blessing us with this precious gift! I just wanted to be able to feel that now. I thought that perhaps knowing the sex of the baby, speaking to it by name, knitting up super cute baby clothes just for him/her would help me to be more excited NOW.

I was still wavering on the decision when our midwife told us she was very suspicious that we were having twins! Her exact words were "I'm very suspicious, and I'm rarely wrong." Ok, that sealed the deal. We were finding out for sure!

And this is what we found out-- no twins, just one perfectly healthy, precious baby BOY.

So that's that! Come November the boys will, for the first time in the Cleary household, outnumber the girls!

Junk Posse Giveaway!

2010-07-21T08:31:00.000-04:00

I've blogged in the past about Junk Posse and the incredible jewelry that Tracy makes. For my birthday (back in December) I bought myself this piece:

It is by far my favorite piece of jewelry! I absolutely love it when I can buy something for myself (yay for retail therapy!) AND support adoption-- or in the case of the Water for Christmas design, clean water.

Now, here is your chance to own your own piece, or two, of Junk Posse jewelery. The Lemanskis, a fellow YWAM family, are hosting a giveaway for a $150 gift certificate to Junk Posse... $150!! Head over to their blog to make a donation to their travel fund and you'll be entered into the drawing. Five dollars gets you an entry. Let's help this family bring their child home!

Junk Posse Giveaway!

back to the grind...

2010-07-14T09:23:00.001-04:00

We just got back from our lovely annual vacation to Assateague Island. I'll have to try to post about it later. My camera is broken. :( But June took some good pictures with her camera that I can post.

So now it's back to reality. Today that means laundry, laundry and more laundry.

8 people camping on sandy beaches for a week...

5 loads down, ?? to go

just a little vent...

2010-06-11T12:35:00.000-04:00

I'm in the middle of sorting through my children's outgrown clothes (yes, I'm just not dealing with that mountain of clothes in the corner of my bedroom). So can I just ask why there can't be any continuity among sizes and brands? Some are size 7 or size 8-- some 7/8. It's the same story with 10 and 12, 12 and 14, etc. And I won't even get into how one brand's size 8 fits like an other's size 6. This is already one of my most dreaded chores (as evidenced by the mountain, now at least 2 months old) so can't we make it a little easier!!!?!?!?

I actually fantasize about just donating it all and then starting fresh each season. Ahhh, the freedom. Except then I'd have to go shopping, and I don't really like that either. And really, I just have too many children to make that financially feasible!

So here I go... back to the mountain!

strawberry picking

2010-06-05T17:55:00.001-04:00

I think that one of the greatest pleasures of this season is fresh strawberries! This morning we met my mom, sister and niece at the local strawberry patch to fill our buckets and our tummies.

Oliver quickly discovered the best way to fill his bucket-- steal from big sister June's bucket! He just stood there taking strawberries out of her bucket and loading them into his bucket. By the time we were ready to go his shirt and face were covered with strawberry juice. The kind lady at the orchard ended up not charging us for his bucket. I told Oliver that she should have taken one look at him and then weighed his bucket twice to make up for all the ones in his belly!

Karis helping fill Aunt Mary's bucket Abby, the champion strawberry picker

Jonah showing us a yucky one he'd tasted

bitterness...

2010-06-04T23:19:00.000-04:00

Hebrews 12:15 "See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many."

Confession time. I'm struggling with bitterness... a lot. When we first were told that our adoption would have to be put on hold I knew that I needed to guard against bitterness, but I failed to do so. Most of the time it hides down deep inside, but every so often it squeezes out.

When I read about how there are over 147 million orphans... it squeezes out.
When I read how we need more families to rise up and answer the call to adopt... oops, there it is again!
When I read about many families that were/are allowed to continue their adoption journey while pregnant... the band-aid holding it all back gets ripped off.
When I read the link emailed to me recently which contained this quote "Both ends of the adoption spectrum are troubled: Orphaned children need loving homes, and willing families face undue barriers to adopting them." Um... yeah, more bitterness!

Help! Have you struggled with bitterness in the past, or are you struggling with it now? What has helped you? Are their any particular scriptures that have especially ministered to you?

GOD IS GOOD! All the time. I know that He can and will take this painful situation and turn it into something beautiful, but I HAVE to overcome this bitterness in the meantime so I don't miss a second of His awesome plan. I want to be able to get to the place where I can THANK GOD for this trial because it is moving me closer to where HE wants me to be, molding me more into the woman that HE wants me to be. Pray for me!

James 1:2-4 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Lord, break our hearts

2010-06-04T20:30:00.001-04:00

When I read about these two boys today I was instantly reminded of another orphaned sibling group I had seen in a video clip several months ago.

WARNING: this is devastatingly sad! You will need tissues for this.

Absolutely heartbreaking, but the unfortunate reality for far, far too many children around this world. WE NEED OUR HEARTS BROKEN WITH THE THINGS THAT BREAK HIS HEART! It is only by God's grace that this is not us, that these are not OUR children. But these ARE our children! We are His hands and feet to bring hope to these children.

Matthew 18:5 "And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me."

birthday season

2010-06-02T07:34:00.000-04:00

We're in the midst of birthday season here. From March to August we have one birthday a month. (This new baby, being due in November, is going to mess up our streak!) The funny thing is that my children don't talk about what presents they would like for their birthdays-- they talk about what food they want to eat. Several nights a week at dinner you will hear "I want this for my birthday dinner!"

Jonah just had his birthday in April and he is already picking out what he wants to eat next year. Abby, who has a birthday coming up in August, has been compiling lists for months. Last week she handed me the finalized menu. Breakfast: Puffins cereal with raspberries. Lunch: Shrimp Alfredo. Dinner: steak with peas and mashed potatoes (although the menu changed last night when I made roasted potatoes for dinner-- now she wants those instead of mashed potatoes). Girl doesn't have cheap taste!

Even June (turning 12 in July) has been compiling her menu. She hasn't decided on dinner yet, but apparently last year's birthday food was so great that she wants it again.

lemon pound cake with fresh picked, wild raspberries

The joy and contentment of childhood... I love it! And I wish it was contagious. I could always use a little more joy and contentment in my life.

Would you like the opportunity to TRULY change the direction of a child's life?

2010-05-30T17:56:00.002-04:00

You can!! My friend Karen Winstrom is partnering with Children's Hopechest to find sponsors for 84 children in one of the most impoverished areas of Ethiopia.

From Karen's blog:

"Most of the children are orphans and are living with a relative (i.e. uncle, aunt, sister) that is barely able to provide for the kids, and therefore many of them are severely malnourished. Many of the children don't attend school and are "employed" to herd cattle, goats and livestock for about $12 a year. Without a sponsor, these children will never have the opportunity to go to school, because they are already "working" to keep a roof over their heads."

For $34/month you can help to provide food, clothing, medical care and schooling to one or more of these precious children.

Go here http://family-from-afar.blogspot.com/ to read more about sponsoring a child.

Edelam is 4 and needs a sponsor family.

Do you sw*g?

2010-05-25T19:53:00.005-04:00

Most of you have probably heard of Sw@g bucks, but if you haven't you really should check it out. I signed up a few months ago and just cashed in for my 7th $5 Amazon gift certificate. I average earning around $10 in Amazon gift cards a month.

All I did was sign up, downloaded the tool bar and now use it whenever I do searches. You will randomly be awarded sw@g bucks throughout the day when you search. There are other ways to earn-- "sw@g hunts", special offers, etc., but I actually find those to be a waste of time so I don't bother. If you get someone to sign up under you then you will get sw@g bucks every time they earn them. For example, if your friend does a search and wins 9 sw@g bucks, then you will automatically be awarded 9 sw@g bucks. I don't have any referrals (although, I hope that changes after this post!), and I still average $10 a month.

It takes 450 sw@g bucks to earn a $5 amazon gift card. There are other gift cards you can earn, but the amazon gift card is by far the best value.

I know it can sound crazy and possibly to good to be true, but trust me, it's legit and it you really do get paid just for doing searches! Give it a try! Sign up, search, and get free money! You'll get 30 sw@g bucks just for signing up.

If you decide to try it out, I'd love it if you'd sign up under me-

link

Check it out!

2010-05-20T09:34:00.001-04:00

A fellow YWAM adoptive family and new bloggy friend has come up with a wonderful fundraiser to help bring home their little boy from Ethiopia. A gorgeous piece of art work AND helping an orphan make his way to his forever family... how could I resist!

I told Su the colors of the room I was hanging it in and gave her 20 sayings about our family. And here's what she came up with.

I love, love, LOVE it! The kids love it. Tom loves it. What's not to love? We have it hanging over our dining room table. I chose phrases that not only describe how we are as a family now, but also things that we are working towards (showing grace and mercy-- definitely working on that with the kids!). It reads:

"IN THIS HOME we create, we make messes, we love to learn, we do snuggles, we do laughter, we eat ice cream, we tackle, we make music, we love reading, we are colorful, we worship, we work hard and play hard, we show grace and mercy, we do prayer, we walk by the Spirit, we do loud very well, we do things BIG, we love like crazy!"

Su has pictures of several others that she has made on her blog only God could write this story along with pricing and ordering information. Su is *perfect* to work with and had this to our home in record time. Go check her work out and help bring their precious child home!

spring has sprung!

2010-05-06T19:00:00.004-04:00

Okay, so it sprang a while ago, but I'm a slow blogger so it takes me longer to post these things. :D

I just love this time of year. The kids are playing in the creek every day. Yesterday, they brought three crayfish they had caught and "butchered" I guess would the best word for it. They wanted to fry them and eat them. *gag* Thankfully, they forgot about it and this morning the poor little crayfish went to the chickens.

Speaking of chickens...

Aren't they adorable?! There is nothing like walking into the post office to a chorus of little chick cheeps. Though, I don't think the ladies at our post office think it's quite as cute as we do. We originally ordered 29 but were sent 34. Then we went to the feed store to buy chick feed and just couldn't resist the ducks... so we have 4 adorable little ducks.

Next, Tom went to buy more chick feed and they had several chicks that weren't selling as well as in years past. They told him they'd give him a great deal on a few and Tom can never pass up a good deal. Now we have 50 chicks total! And we already have around 17 adult chickens. When these babies start laying we'll be getting almost 5 dozen eggs a day. Now my kids love eggs (well, most of my kids love eggs), but not 5 dozen a day! Good thing June is my little entrepreneur and has plans to try to sell them.

transitioning...

2010-05-05T14:00:00.003-04:00

It is pretty much settled that we are on hold with our adoption until baby #7 is born and turns 6 months old. While this still saddens me (and some days are worse than others), for the most part I am at peace with it. I believe that God has given me some revelation into why He called us to adopt when He did knowing the circumstances to come... there is a great peace in that. I have also learned (sad that at age 32 I'm finally learning this) that when I'm having a sad-about-the-adoption day if I admit it and let myself cry about it, then I feel SO MUCH BETTER! When I hold it in, I am not so nice to be around... sorry hubby!

With that being said, it is time to transition this blog. I originally intended to blog about the kids, family life, creative endeavors, homeschooling, but then when we started the adoption process it seemed all I really wrote about was the adoption. Now it's time to get back to kids, family life, creative endeavors and homeschooling. I hope I am better at that than I was in the past.

Now that I have posted my last adoption update for probably the next year, it's time to post a baby update! I'm 12 weeks now. I only suffered mild nausea, but any hint of that is gone now, yay! I have never been so tired as I was the beginning of this pregnancy-- I can't even put into words how tired I was-- but, praise the Lord, my energy is returning a little more every day. I have been doing quite a bit of baby knitting (pictures maybe coming soon),I'm hoping to get into some baby sewing AND we have even settled on names.

Thanks to all of you who have been praying for us over the last few, hard months. We appreciate it so much and continue to covet your prayers.

Oh! I almost forgot-- take a look at the Uganda magazine necklaces on the side. I have six left and have marked them on sale so I can clear them out. All proceeds still go straight into our adoption account (silver lining to being on hold-- more time to raise and save money!).

Ethiopian feast!

2010-04-28T20:23:00.001-04:00

Yesterday, the kids and I got together with some friends for an Ethiopian lunch. What a feast we had! In typical fashion I forgot my camera so you'll just have to trust me that the food looked as good as it tasted! My friend Amy made a mixed vegetable wat and injera (gotta have injera!!) with recipes from The Vegan Lunch Box. Both were delicious and I need to try to make injera on my own now. I picked up some teff flour yesterday so I hope to be able to make it very soon.

I made a spicy chicken and onion stew. Tom raved and raved about it, but the kids were rushing for glasses of water after one bite. I didn't even bother to taste it since the recipe called for 4 teaspoons of cayenne... that's a lot of spice! Tom actually ordered this exact dish at our local Ethiopian restaurant. He said mine was just as good (love that man :D ) only spicier. Oliver wanted to love the chicken. He kept taking bites and then grabbing his tongue and begging for water. I started having him chase bites of chicken with Ethiopian cabbage and that seemed to help a bit. Of my family, only Oliver and I really like the cabbage (too many picky eaters here). I'm definitely keeping the recipe though. I also made Chickpea Wat. Yum! My mouth is watering just thinking about it! Again, it was a bit on the spicy side, but I plan to make it again this weekend with a little less cayenne to make it a little more Cleary-kid friendly.

The last thing I made was Ethiopian honey bread which I altered to be gluten free. (Went the cheater route of using a gluten free bread mix and then just cute the salt to 1 teaspoon and added an extra egg... I followed the rest of the directions exactly as written.) I don't know if it's an authentic recipe or not, but I kids gobbled it up and have been begging for me to make it again. I think it's going to be in regular rotation around here.

It was so fun making all of these delicious Ethiopian dishes (even if I was cooking from 7 a.m. until 9 a.m. when we had to get ready to leave). I'm excited to keep trying new recipes and adding the winners to our regular monthly menu. By the time we are able to bring our children home from Ethiopia (we're down to 1 year before we can start again-- time is slowly ticking by!) I'll be a pro at this!

small update

2010-04-07T14:38:00.003-04:00

...since my "loyal fans" have asked-- ;) Karen.

Just today we decided not to go with the new agency. I have spent so much time praying for direction and just could not get a peace about this agency. So... I'm supposed to be talking to someone from another agency this week, but because they are on vacation I'm not sure when it will happen. If they can work with us and our timeline then we'll move forward. If their timeline gets our children home around the same time or only slightly earlier than holding with our current agency then we will continue to hold due to the money we already have invested and our love for YWAM.

In today's mail we received our notice that immigration has approved us to bring two orphans into the U.S. Bittersweet. I had been SO looking forward to this day, but now it's just a reminder that we are no longer moving forward. God is in control. God is in control. God is in control!

Take 2!

2010-03-25T17:34:00.002-04:00

Tom and I have spent the last two weeks praying, praying and praying some more. We really needed to know if GOD wanted us to place our adoption on hold or if HE wanted us to continue with a different agency that allows pregnant couples to adopt. I can definitively say that He wants us to continue and so we are.

This is HARD! This is not at all what I had envisioned when we set out on this journey. I LOVE the women at our current agency and am so sad to no longer be working with them (for now... maybe there's another adoption somewhere in our future!).

Yesterday, we sent off our application to the new agency. Here we go again! We now have to compile a completely different dossier. Silly me thought that there would be some continuity with what was required for the dossier. Nope! Some papers we'll still be able to use such as reference letters, employments letters, bank letters, etc, but the majority of the requirements are different. For example, the old agency required 3 years tax returns, whereas the new agency requires a certified copy of our deed. Off to the county clerk Tom ran today! The old agency only needed the parent's birth certificates, but the new agency needs all the children's as well... off went the forms to Division of Vital Records today! (By the way, I figured out today that we've spent over $250 on birth/marriage certificates alone for this adoption!)

This next part is inspired by Linny's post on Crazy Love over at A Place Called Simplicity.

and is so humbling to write! For anyone who knows me, asking for help is something I am NOT good at.

For those of you who haven't read it yet... she's asking people to explain their needs, link it to her blog and then challenging people to prayerfully consider giving to those in need. To start off: yes, we do tithe and we are involved in our church Hub City Vineyard . And here is our need-- when you switch agencies any money that you have paid already is non-refundable. We were *so close* to having everything we needed for this adoption minus travel expenses. Now we are $5,000 short. We're going to need it soon, like within the next month or so. I am not for a minute going to let myself worry about where it's going to come from because I know we serve an awesome, mighty God! I am however using this wonderful opportunity to let our need be known. If you feel led by God to contribute towards bringing our two children home from Ethiopia you can use the chip in widget on the sidebar or email me. If not, pray for us-- we need prayer MORE THAN ANYTHING!!

adoption on hold

2010-03-18T10:23:00.009-04:00

Well, we didn't get our amazing grace. Our adoption is on hold until sometime spring/summer 2011.

*warning-- the rest of this is raw and honest*

Last week we found out that I was unexpectedly pregnant. Human wisdom dictates that it's better for an orphan to remain in an orphanage with many other children, babies and care givers than to be welcomed into a loving home with one baby. I'm sorry, that was harsh and spoken out of abject pain, but that's basically the truth. This decision was made in consultation with our home study agency. When I read that in the email and saw the person they had spoken with I just wanted to scream, "DO YOU KNOW THAT SHE HAS NEVER HAD A PERSONAL CONVERSATION WITH EITHER MY HUSBAND OR MYSELF???" How in the world can this lady make a judgment based on our family's situation? The answer... she didn't. It's just a general rule that seems to make sense in most cases. And maybe it does make sense, and maybe it will turn out to be the right decision for us. But to put so much weight on what this one woman says, one that doesn't know anything about us other than what she has read, burns me up.

I can't even begin to understand God's ways. I know that His hand is on our lives and that from the day He called us to adopt, He knew this would be the outcome. Why He didn't wait until summer 2011 to call us to adopt instead of making us walk through this pain?... who knows. What I DO know is that He is in control. He knows the plans He has for us. This is all part of His plan. It hurts, it hurts terribly, but I will submit to His will which hopefully includes bringing home two precious Ethiopian children at the end of 2011.

I've spent the last five+ months dreaming about my children. What do they look like? How old are they? I've spent hours laying awake in bed thinking about what their names would be. Would we keep their Ethiopian names or give them American names? Who would they share rooms with? What would Christmas be like with our new children? I've spent so much time picturing our family with little brown faces. I've searched through our books and toys to make sure we had enough diversity. We've tried and loved Ethiopian food at our local Ethiopian restaurant and scoured the internet for recipes to make our own at home.

We made a space in our lives here for these two children that I already love so much it hurts... it hurts so much it takes my breath away. Now that space will remain empty... for 2+ years.

My life is not my own, but the Lord's. I am willing to do whatever He has for me. I want to come to the other side of this changed and refined and more in His image. This line from a song by Rita Springer has been running through my head all week and my prayer is that I will be pulled into His ways throughout all of this.

"I don't understand Your ways. Oh, but I will give You my song, give You all of my praise. You hold on to all my pain. With it You are pulling me closer and pulling me into Your ways."

I also just want to make sure that I'm clear in that I'm NOT sad that I'm having a baby. I recognize this child as a wonderful gift from the Lord. Unfortunately, to receive this gift we also have to experience a loss, and that loss is painful.

2010-03-10T07:22:00.000-05:00

Barring some amazing grace, our adoption is going to be taking a lot longer than we had previously anticipated.

Almost a year ago we finished building our house after a four year STRUGGLE to get it done. It was a hard time on the whole family as we squished together in an 800 square foot, dilapidated, single wide trailer. Every single day the kids would pray "Please let the house be done quickly". I watched some of them continue to pray in faith and anticipation even though their prayers were not being answered (in the way that we wanted them answered) while some began to slowly lose hope.

These days the prayers have switched to "Please let the adoption go quickly." A couple of months ago I assured them that this time it wouldn't be like the house. This time there was an end in sight. Their prayers would be answered (in the way that we wanted them answered).

I may have lied to them. That sucks.

fingerprinting done

2010-03-09T17:55:00.001-05:00

Tom and I made the hour and a half trek to the immigration office today to get our fingerprints done. One more thing to cross off the list!

In other news-- I hate to be cryptic, but I could really use any and all prayers right now, desperately. I'll update soon, but for now just please pray for me.

in His hands...

2010-03-07T07:52:00.000-05:00

The past week or so has been especially difficult for me. I was just in a funk that I couldn't shake. The good thing about it was it brought me to my knees so much more in prayer. I couldn't figure out what was bothering me. I knew part of it was adoption stuff (it's just taking so much longer than we thought it would), but I didn't realize how heavily it was all weighing on me.

Last night we attended a worship service. During worship the Lord was so kind to me and showed me a picture of himself holding my two Ethiopian children. I know that they are in the Lord's hands, but it meant so much to SEE it. I was overwhelmed with emotion and the sadness that had been bogging me down was lifted. Thank you, Lord. They are HIS children and He is preparing us for them and them for us.

AND-- we received our fingerprint information yesterday. That's the final step before we get approval from immigration. The piece of paper we will receive once we are approved is the FINAL thing we need for our dossier. YAY! We're hoping to be able to get fingerprinted on Tuesday. I would have dragged Tom down there on Monday, but he has a meeting for work. Darn! I'll keep you posted. :D

I did a bad, bad thing.

2010-02-24T16:41:00.000-05:00

I went and fell in love with a waiting child before I was paper ready to be referred. I am so happy for this little boy to be going to a family who will love and adore him, but I am also sad for me/us, because we wanted to be that family.

Yet again, I am so very thankful for a relationship with a mighty God, a God whom I KNOW is in control. I know that God has the perfect children picked out for our family and I can take comfort in that. I don't want anything other than what God has planned for us and the children waiting for us in Ethiopia.

But that didn't stop me from crying a bit today...

Favorite Foto Friday

2010-02-19T23:59:00.001-05:00

I was looking through old pictures on my computer (because just about all I have are old pictures. I'm so bad about getting them off of my camera and onto the computer!) and came across this oldie but goodie. These two haven't changed a bit.

I am so totally doing this!

2010-02-18T15:09:00.000-05:00

I just saw this video on our agency's blog. Who wants to be part of the first group in Maryland?

LOVE this!

2010-02-17T12:09:00.002-05:00

I just have to share it. It speaks so cleary the desire of my heart.

http://itsalmostnaptime.blogspot.com/2010/02/i-dont-want-my-children-to-be-happy.html

Happy Valentine's Day!

2010-02-14T07:00:00.002-05:00

On this day that we celebrate love, remember how much HE loves us!

joy and heartbreak...

2010-02-13T22:56:00.000-05:00

First the joy... tonight we held a babysitting night at our church as a fundraiser for our adoption. Tom and I were incredibly blessed and were received almost four times what we were guessing we might raise. Thank you so, so much to wonderful, generous friends and the awesome ladies who helped us out. We totally couldn't have done it without your help! Tonight was truly a blessing.

Then the heartbreak... I found out tonight that the little boy, Sampson, that I posted about last weekend passed away. Malaria took his precious life... malaria, something we in the U.S. don't have to worry about at all. I was going to continue on about how many more millions of Sampsons there are out there and what we can be doing to help, but I can't right now. Just please, pray for all these precious children and ask God what He wants your response to be.

Oh happy day!

2010-02-12T22:02:00.000-05:00

We got out!!!

We had the van parked at the end of the driveway and managed to dig it out. The driveway is still not anywhere near driveable, but we did mangage to shovel a path from the house to the bridge so the walk isn't too terrible.

snow, snow and... more snow

2010-02-12T12:50:00.000-05:00

And I'm a wee bit sick of it. I haven't been able to leave the house for over a week. I might not care under normal circumstances, but now that I've decided that I want to get out and can't... it's making me a little crazy! Tom is definitely beginning to lose his mind.

Today we decided to try to get ourselves out. Our driveway is about 1/8 mile long and we have no plow-- only one lone snow shovel (that is beginning to break from the abuse it is being subjected to). Our awesome method of snow removal is to have the kids stomp around the driveway to break up the snow and then Tom and I take turns attempting to shovel two tracks for the car to drive through.

We put up a valient effort, but the score as of right now is snow 1, Cleary's 0. Here is a glimpse of what we're up against. This is from the turn in the driveway looking back towards the house.

And then looking towards the road. We have a loooong way to go. .

Oliver about sums up how we were all feeling.

And just for fun... check out the enormous icicile on the corner of our house!

I wish I could adopt a house full of children...

2010-02-06T10:31:00.000-05:00

I know to some people we already have a house full of children, but six really doesn't seem like that many to me. We are approved to adopt two children of either gender between the ages of 0-8, but gosh, I want to adopt more!

There's a precious little boy in Ghana needing a home badly right now. Read about him and see his precious picture here. I know we're on the right path with adopting two children from Ethiopia, but can't I adopt Sampson too? We fit the criteria for his new family perfectly. Sigh. I pray his forever family is found soon. It breaks my heart to think of him waiting. Maybe you are meant to be his family? Or maybe you know somebody who is meant to be? Please pray his family is found soon.

Good news all around!

2010-02-04T15:52:00.003-05:00

First, remember how last month I asked for prayers for my friend Heather and the adoption of her daughter Chaltu? This past Tuesday they had their third and FINAL court case. Chaltu is now part of their forever family!! Heather will be traveling mid-March to bring her home. Praise the Lord!!

AND...

We have our finalized home study! Finally, Finally! Wow, what a wonderful feeling! We are off to Fed Ex this afternoon to send our I-600A to immigration. Now on the the next round of waiting...

necklaces are here!

2010-02-01T13:50:00.004-05:00

They are gorgeous! I've been wearing mine almost daily either as a necklace or wrapped several times around my wrist as a bracelet.

If you would like to buy one to help fund our adoption you can do so on the lower right side of this page. You can also send me an email or message on facebook if you would like to pay with cash or check.

I almost forgot!

2010-01-30T19:36:00.002-05:00

I am going on the missions trip to Ethiopia and Uganda this summer! Tom and I just kept coming up with reason after reason of why I should go. With each day that passes without receiving our finalized home study :( the liklihood of us traveling to pick up our children before or near the missions trip diminishes. I am so thankful for this opportunity-- so very, very thankful.

I want to be like Jesus!

2010-01-30T19:26:00.001-05:00

This week I was catching up on the Girl Talk blog. I love this blog, but I often forget to check it. I'm so glad I remembered this week because I really needed a smile. Check out January 20-- there are a couple of videos posted from Covenant Life's Summer Celebration. I just happened to have an amazon gift card burning a hole in my pocket so I headed over to download the whole To Be Like Jesus album. Now it's loaded onto all the kids mp3 players and they've been bopping around to it like crazy.

Seriously, is there anything better than hearing your kids going around singing "I want to be like Jesus!"? I don't think so! My personal favorite song on the album is Jesus, You're My Hope. Let it sink into their hearts, Jesus.

weekend miscellany

2010-01-24T20:36:00.005-05:00

Sadly, no, I'm not posting about a received home study. However, I did get an email today from a social worker at our home study agency asking to whom at our placement agency she should send our finalized home study for review. So that's a good sign.

In other news, I have partnered with 147 Million Orphans to raise money for our adoption. I've added a button to the sidebar where you can purchase Uganda magazine bead necklaces. All funds raised will go towards our adoption. The necklaces are created by hand from re-cycled magazines by women of the Karamojong tribe in Uganda. These are truly gorgeous necklaces! They are long enough to be worn as a single strand or double-looped. You can order at any time and I will ship the necklaces as soon as I receive them. I should get them in the mail this week. I'll be sure to post when they arrive. If you are local and I can hand deliver your necklace(s) then I will refund your shipping costs. Or you could skip the paypal button altogether and just pay in person with cash or check.

Another fundraiser we have coming up is a babysitting night at our church, Hub City Vineyard, on Febuary 13. If you are in the Hagerstown area and need a night out, we're here to help! We are still working out the details, but I will post more info about that as well.

Lastly, I am super excited about the possibility of a missions trip this summer. I'd have the opportunity to travel to Ethiopia and Uganda to love on orphans. I so, so badly want to go, but there is a possibility that the timing could conflict with when we travel to pick up our children in Ethiopia. Of course, with international adoption there is always the chance of unexpected delays and I would hate to miss out on the trip and then still be waiting for our children. There is also the pesky little addition of trying to raise funds for a missions trip while simultaneously raising funds for an adoption. But, I really wanna go!!! Tom and I are praying for God's will and divine guidance about this trip. Please pray with us that we will have a clear direction from the Lord.

ClearyCrew

udpate x2 and fundraiser

one week down...

the good, the bad, and the ugly

She's baaaaaack...

*one*

meeting Mr. T...

The beginning of the trip...

introducing our newest family member...

court date!

See you later, Oleysia...

our girl

more birthday...

Ruby O

joy that's coming...

love them

it's our turn!

sorry to leave you hanging...

our boy...

7 months old...

thankful, part 2

thankful, part 1

My heart is full

Oleysia and "The 'A' Word"

She's here!

Happy Birthday, Karis!

tomorrow

it's out of my hands

Mommom...

home study update is finalized!

happy 6 month birthday my sweet, little baby

fingerprinting tomorrow!

look who came to visit...

it's teacher appreciation week

new book I'm excited to read!

14 months down, 1 more to go!

Cupcakes!

had to share

Meet Oleysia...

Compassion...

my little treasure

to infinity and beyond!

funny things they say

my horse crazy girl

Happy Birthday, Oliver

new nephew!

one year ago...

wordless wednesday

13 years...

Tobias and his second dad

"formula is life"...

and ANOTHER Junk Posse giveaway!

My little helper...

Junk Posse Giveaway!

confessions of a slacker mom

It's Christmas Eve, Eve, EVE!

pictures and a birth story

He's here!

baby #7 update (or lack thereof)

So it's November...

the theology of a two year old

a gift that gives twice

loooong overdue update

baby #7...

Junk Posse Giveaway!

back to the grind...

just a little vent...

strawberry picking

bitterness...

Lord, break our hearts

birthday season

Would you like the opportunity to TRULY change the direction of a child's life?

Do you sw*g?

Check it out!

spring has sprung!

transitioning...

Ethiopian feast!

small update

Take 2!

adoption on hold

one